The Pirates! Band of Misfits has an unruly spirit and a sense of randomness in its opening act. It watches the crew of a pirate ship, led by the Pirate Captain (voice of Hugh Grant), as they debate what constitutes the best part of a pirate’s life and attempt to pillage various ships with poor results. These scenes are to the movie’s benefit. Then the actual plot, about the Pirate Captain trying to win the coveted Pirate of the Year award, starts up, and despite the amusing addition of Charles Darwin (voice of David Tennant), the movie loses much of the feeling that anything could happen as the usual story beats unfold. My review is here. Available on DVD, Blu-ray, and Blu-ray 3D.
In case one does not realize it by the time the movie ends, Think Like a Man assures us that it is based on Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. It’s an unnecessary credit, really, since the movie is little more than a two-hour ad for the book. There’s even moment when two women are having on a conversation, and one of them suddenly pulls the book out and stands it on the table as if she were in a commercial. If one acknowledges that fact and tries to accept it (Ignoring it is impossible, especially when Harvey himself shows up), the movie has some genuinely amusing interactions between its characters, even if their sole purpose to sell a book. My review is here. Available on DVD and Blu-ray.
Darling Companion is barely half as charming as it imagines itself to be. Co-writer/director Lawrence Kasdan (who wrote the screenplay with his wife Meg) offers a sympathetic look at the characters, who try to find a lost dog, but that doesn’t change the fact that those characters are unremarkable. The dog belongs to Beth (Diane Keaton), whose husband (Kevin Kline) is a busy spinal surgeon and has been neglecting her feelings for years, and it’s devastating for her. Her friends and family come together to sort out their differences and find the dog. My review is here. Available on DVD and Blu-ray.
This isn’t the first movie based on a board game, but if you know the game of Battleship, you are probably scratching your head about how that game could be made into a movie. After seeing Battleship, you’ll probably still be scratching your head. It’s about a trio of Navy ships (the people onboard, too, I guess) as they fight off an alien invasion. The aliens are as dumb as the humans are bland; they don’t even have a good plan to take over the world. The sequence that is directly inspired by the game is laughable, but it’s oddly not the most ludicrous part. My review is here. Available on DVD and Blu-ray.
The romance between two people is held back by, well, nothing, really. The Lucky One follows Logan (Zac Efron) and Beth (Taylor Schilling) as they very, very slowly come together. They’re apparently held back by her abusive ex-husband (Jay R. Ferguson), which makes no sense, and the climax, which uses the old adventure standby of a rickety bridge for some reason, is ridiculous. At least there’s actual conflict, though. My review is here. Available on DVD, Blu-ray, and DVD/Blu-ray Combo.